More Podcasts I’m Loving Right Now!

Life, Travel

Since Jan 2022, my commute time has increased, meaning I now have more time to immerse myself in the world of podcasts!

In my last post on the subject, I listed Desert Island Discs as one of my favourites, and I have to say that this is still firmly at the top of my list! There are decades worth of episodes available online and I have found out so much about people I didn’t really know at all. I particularly enjoyed listening to Professor Noel Fitzpatrick’s episode. He speaks so passionately about animals and said there’s no reason to treat them any differently from humans. He has been revolutionary in veterinary science and surgery, coming up with innovative (and very successful) ways to ‘fix’ animals. I wouldn’t have known anything about him without Desert Island Discs!

Table Manners with Jessie Ware and her mama, Lenny

This podcast is lovely. Not only are Jessie and Lenny giving us mother-daughter relationship goals, but they talk about all the things I love! Good food, entertainment, wine… They have the best guests on their show, and they cook for them in Lenny’s home in good ol’ Clapham, which is just down the road from me. Highlights for me have been their interviews with the gorgeous Billy Porter, Jo Brand and David Schwimmer. I highly recommend this podcast if you’re into food and wine.

Grounded with Louis Theroux

Louis is one of my favourite journalists, and always seems so sincere in his questioning. He has the most interesting guests and he manages to make them feel comfortable with being honest and open, which makes for a very interesting listen. My highlights include his interviews with FKA Twigs, Gail Porter and Miriam Margolyes. Miriam Margolyes actually made me howl with laughter – She is so entertaining!

Something Rhymes With Purple with Susie Dent and Gyles Brandreth

I, like many others I’m sure, have a big girl crush on Susie Dent. She’s awesome! I love words and language (especially when Gyles talks about them in his delicious tone), and this programme is really interesting. I have learned so much since I started listening to it, and have even been to a live recording where Susie Dent read out my question (which was ‘Why do we call faeces ‘poo’ and urine ‘wee’?’ – The answer being that it came from how children used to say it, apparently). My favourite anecdote is that the inventor of the phrase ‘gobbledygook’ was the son of the man who the word ‘maverick’ was coined after. Maverick’s son said that ‘gobbledygook’ was the sound turkeys made when they spoke. One of my personal highlights was receiving a response from Gyles himself after I emailed in to the show. I am a big fan of his, and it made my year when I received this:

Dear Kate,

How great to hear from you – thank you! I think we addressed the poo/wee issue in this week’s podcast. I love it that you listen.

I love your grandparents – heroes and role models. Tim and I are both patrons of the National Piers Society so our paths cross on the end of the pier! And Sheila Hancock and I are very tentatively following your grandparents onto the canals and rivers of England . . . Fortunately Tim came along to our first shoot and showed us the ropes. We’re still hopeless.

Lovely to be in touch. I hope our paths cross properly soon.

All the best,

Gyles

I have recently signed up for an Audible account and hope to review some audio books through my blog as part of my return.

As always, thanks for reading, and I do hope that you’re able to enjoy these podcast recommendations sometime, especially now that our journeys are getting busier. They definitely help with those crammed train journeys. Just make sure you don’t look like a wally laughing to yourself (or, just don’t give a monkeys and roll with it!).

Enjoy,

NSG xxx

NSG is back!

Parenting

Wow! It’s good to be back! Same place, new logo (Do you like it?). How has everyone been since December 2019? Only 2 and a bit years since my last post…!

The NSG family has been through a lot. We have lost beloved members of our family, we have adjusted to new routines and jobs, we have all had Covid at the same time, we got through remote schooling and lockdowns, working from home…

We have to be proud of that. We got through it all and we’re still here and smiling.

Why did I stop writing my blog back in 2019? It was a number of things. I went into a full-time job around November 2019 which took up a lot of my time, energy and brain power, leaving no real quality time to write. I also received a comment about my blog posts – that they were ‘a bit much’. I’m still not really sure what that meant, but it made me doubt myself to the point where I just didn’t think my writing was any good and no-one would really want to read it. I forgot, in that moment, just how much I enjoy writing and how it can be so therapeutic, which was the main purpose of this blog in the first place. I just thought ‘I’m not good enough to do this, so I won’t’.

Why am I back now? I have been wanting to find the space and time to pick up where I left off with the blog for ages now, and I think I have finally found it. I have about 8 draft posts which are mostly irrelevant now, all written when I had a moment of inspiration. Some are unfinished, but others were not posted simply because I was afraid of them being ‘a bit much’, so they remain in my drafts folder to this day. I am now making this hobby a priority and getting back into the joy of writing, researching things to write about, and sharing some words which might help others (even if it’s just to entertain!), as well as picking up on my Spanish through Duolingo, working full time managing a brilliant office and raising my two sons!

So, watch this space, share, follow, like and, most importantly, enjoy!

It’s good to be back :),

NSG xxx

Why I Have Deleted The Uber App From My Phone

Life, Parenting, Travel

Uber. So helpful, cheap and accessible, right? I have used them on and off for a few years, in the UK, USA and South Africa, and they have always been relatively reliable, presuming they kind-of know the area in which they’re driving and don’t ALWAYS rely on their sat nav app to get them to the destination.

I have recently had nothing but bad experiences with them, so have decided to delete the app from my phone permanently. The main reason being that I just can’t rely on them like I used to.

In my post ‘Rain, Rain, Go Away‘ I talked about one of the reasons why I am now feeling compelled to write this post. We booked an Uber on said rainy morning to take myself and Khaya to school. We had a driver accept the journey and he was making his way to us from our local train station, where he’d just made a drop-off. About three minutes before he was due to arrive, he cancelled the journey. Luckily, I was still able to walk/swim to the school to get Khaya there on time, but it was close! I was so angry that I complained to Uber and received some standard email in response, apologising for any inconvenience, etc, etc. Reason One.

Reason Two actually happened a few months ago. I went to our local Asda to get a big shop and I ordered an Uber to come and pick me up and take me home. I had limited funds in my bank account, so was shocked when they withdrew the upper amount of the estimated travel fee at the moment I booked the ride, rather than charging me for the actual trip fee at the end. It was a busy time, apparently, and the fee would be a bit higher due to high demand. I didn’t expect it to be as high as it ended up being, though. My driver arrived and dithered about which way he was going to get me home. He turned around a couple of times and eventually took a good back route, avoiding the traffic. When I checked the fare for the trip at the end, it was £9.21. For about a mile journey! I was so disappointed… More so because I probably could have called our local cab firm and got the same journey for about half of that price (A mistake I shall never make again!).

My grandfather always says he hates Uber and would never use them as they don’t have ‘The Knowledge’ of London like real cab drivers do. But, he also doesn’t agree with the ethics. I can understand all of this, but I always used them despite their problems, as they were so reliable and easy to use.

When we were staying in Johannesburg in 2016, we used Uber a lot. It was great – Cheap, reliable and efficient. I felt bad about not using the slightly-more-expensive cab driver that we had met, who worked for a smaller company, but Uber was so much easier. That was until we had a nightmare trip to Joburg Zoo and I realised that having no mobile data or wifi was almost life-threatening (or, at least, sanity-threatening!). We (Khaya and a pregnant I) arranged to meet a new friend there, but she didn’t show up. I had limited use of my phone, so tried to look around to see if any part of the zoo had wifi (I was even ready to pay for it!) so I could call her and/or order an Uber to go home again. No wifi at the restaurant, but there were wifi points all over the zoo. We made our way to the nearest one, which was next to the statue of the late Max, a gorilla who passed away at the zoo in 2004. I managed to send some iMessages to said friend, no replies (I later found out she left her phone at home). I managed to book an Uber, but I knew that as soon as I moved away from Max and towards the exit, I’d lose signal and have to HOPE that the driver met me at the right place, without being able to check if he was even still coming! Luckily all was OK in the end, but I wonder if the same happy ending would have occured in London?? I expect the driver would have just cancelled on me, leaving me high and dry, crying on the roadside after the zoo closed. Perhaps UK Uber drivers should take some lessons from the SA ones.

Reason Three is simple – I can’t ride in an Uber with my two boys without car seats. Either I carry two car seats around with me permanently in case I need an Uber in an emergency, or I leave the kids behind.

I rarely have the need for an Uber/taxi nowadays, and it’s always a no-go with the two boys. We have amazing public transport around us and we now have use of a family car when we need it. We’re all set without you, Uber, thank you. Now go and let down all the rest of London!

And… delete.

On another note, my lovely readers, I’d love to hear about your experiences with Uber and whether you have stopped using them and, if so, what was the clincher?

NSG xxx

Cover photo credit: Austin Distel on Unsplash

Rain, rain GO AWAY!

Life, Parenting

I want to start this post by saying that I actually love rain. Rain is so important and vital to the smooth running of this planet. I remember being in Malawi during a terrible drought and, when the rain finally came, we were all so happy to see it! Even us miserable Brits.

I love rainy days indoors – Chilling on the sofa with a cuppa and an old movie, occasionally looking smugly out of the window at the poor unfortunate souls having to travel and go out in this oppressive weather. You really can’t beat that.

But yesterday, my relationship with the rain became soured. As did my relationship with Uber… which was already souring quite rapidly after a ridiculously expensive trip home from my local Asda about a month ago. Let me tell you all about it…

My eldest son started school last week. It has been a huge change for all the family, and we are really having to pull our socks up more than ever before, despite being exhausted after all the laundry, ironing, organising, planning, getting him to bed and school on time, etc. We have always been a bit relaxed about getting out of the house, mainly because it stresses me out so much trying to get everyone out of the door in a relatively decent state. We try to make vague plans to meet people and I recently found out that my friends are telling me to get places earlier now because I am often late (which is NEVER my fault). Anyway, I digress. So, yesterday morning, the heavens opened and we decided that we should get an Uber to take us to the school because we didn’t want Khaya to get his uniform too wet and turn up to school looking dishevelled. We checked the time of the wait for a driver, and booked with enough time to get ready, meet the driver outside and get to the school for 8.50am. The driver cancelled at the very last minute, while he was on his way to us. I guess it was too short a journey. Thanks, buddy. If we left at that time once we knew we would have to now walk to the school, we would just make it at Khaya’s pace. So, we had the genius plan for me to push him in the buggy, which would have shaved off lots of time and we would have managed to keep him dry and looking crisp in his uniform.

I got soaked. Completely through. I had to peel off my clothes when I arrived home, despite having a raincoat on the whole time. I must have looked like a cat who had fallen into a bath. My boots (with whom I have also got a soured relationship) were not very waterproof so I got sopping wet socks from walking through a deep puddle. Then, to add insult to injury, they were a touch too big so I now have two very painful blisters on the back of my heels. Yay.

When I got home and changed, I sat down, switched on my computer and was asked by my partner, ‘Isn’t it time to take Nathi to the hospital for his eye appointment?’. Ugh. I hadn’t eaten or had a cuppa, so I felt like a zombie. We got Nathi up, dressed and out of the door (and even got him to wear his glasses!), and we were off. Everything went well after that, except for mis-predicting how long it would take to get to the school to collect Khaya at 3pm. Nathi and I were out, so we hadn’t done that journey before. Needless to say, my partner had to stop work to go and get him (Sorry, darling). But, we all met up at the school and went to the pub together. We watched the poor unfortunate souls through the window while I sank into my Pinot Noir and nursed my aching heels.

I hope all of you have had more successful school runs. And, if anyone has a car they want to donate, please let me know.

NSG xxx

Photo credit: Pete Nowicki on Unsplash

Who, or What the Heck, is Not So Goldilocks?

Parenting

So, I’m sure you have begun to see me popping up on your social media feeds. I really hope so, as I have been working hard to infiltrate all platforms and not getting paid for it!

But, what am I all about? Who am I? What am I? What exactly can I bring to the world to make it a better place? Well, I don’t quite know about that, but I can answer some simple questions…

What makes you happy?

Strawberry Pop Tarts, when the boys give each other a hug, chocolate, hugs from my fella (Can you see a pattern forming here??), laughing, getting lost in a good book, creating new stories with my sons, making people laugh.

What are your vices?

Erm, Strawberry Pop Tarts… and anything sweet, really. I could eat massive bowls of cereal for each meal every day forever, with not enough room in the bowl for the milk. And then, for snacks, Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut. A whole bar. One of the big ones… or maybe more than one…

Where have you lived?

I am currently living in South West London, which I love, but I have lived in Southampton, Winchester, and have had a year-long home in Lilongwe, the capital city of the beautiful country of Malawi, which my sons and I stayed in on-and-off for a total of 6 months last year. I also call Swaziland and Johannesburg in South Africa my homes. We have family in both countries and it really feels like home when we go to visit them.

When did you start writing?

I have always loved writing and creating stories, and I think I was quite good at it at school. My only issue was self-confidence. When I left secondary school, I wanted to be a journalist and went into sixth-form with this in mind as my career goal. But I didn’t do well in my A-levels, and it knocked my confidence completely out of the park. I put it to the back of my mind. I got into working life and just didn’t have time to write! I did always, and still do, love to communicate via writing rather than verbally in person or on the phone – Thank goodess for the introduction of emails! I have recently decided it’s time to start the writing up again and have come up with a few ideas for novels. For the time being, I will be developing these ideas between work, kids, life, family, chores… and you can watch this space! I will be continuing with the blog, though, as it is really great to have a place to write whenever I feel the inspiration!

Why ‘Not So Goldilocks’?

I came up with the name after I found out that Bear MiniMum had been used already! It really comes from having three bears (my partner and two sons) and not very golden locks!

Anything else?

If you have any other questions for me, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me via email at notsogoldilocksblog@gmail.com.

NSG xxx

‘Start Writing Fiction’ Course Review

Parenting, Writing

I have recently completed a fantastic online course that I just had to recommend and share with you all. The course can be found here and it runs a few times per year online. I would highly recommend it for anyone who wants to start writing fiction (Clever name for the course, right?!).

The course runs for 8 weeks, but you can do as much or as little as you want at a time. The free option only gives you limited access to the course material, but there is a chance to upgrade for £42, which includes a certificate upon completion of the course. There are different mediums involved in the course and, by far my favourite element of the course, there are a couple of opportunities to have people critique your work. I found this really useful, if a little nerve-wracking at first. But everyone on the course was in the same boat, so it felt like equals/colleagues giving feedback on the work you’ve produced. It wasn’t like writing an essay at university and handing it in to the professor who knows everything about that subject. We were all in it together, and there were a lot of us! Some of us chose the same times to study, so I found that I crossed paths with the same people every so often. That was nice. I also got to give feedback on their work, which gave me a different perspective on writing and taught me to see other texts from a writer’s, and editor’s, viewpoint.

There are some great tasks throughout the course as well as videos and audio footage of established authors talking about how they work and offering helpful tips. You will learn about different aspects of writing but the course is mainly focused on character development. This is something I’ve never really started with when thinking of writing a story. I always begin with a plot (of sorts!) and the rest falls into place around that. This course taught me how to prioritise characters and then the plot can work around them. It was also really useful to hear successful authors talking about their processes, including Alex Garland and Louis De Bernieres.

I came out of the course feeling more confident, with the resources to help me formulate any kind of story by myself. There are documents you can save, including a prompt cloud which contains all sorts of random words to alleviate those writer’s blocks and give you some inspiration. Plus, you can download transcripts of the audio files by the published authors. I was so impressed with the content of this free course and I didn’t feel it was worth spending the money for the unlimited access and certificate, but that was just my choice!

Please, if you have any interest in starting to write your own stories, sign up at FutureLearn and, if there are other interests you’d rather pursue, then there may be other courses for you there, too!

Happy Learning!

NSG xxx

Thank You!

Life, Parenting

Happy Hot Day, everyone. I hope you’re all keeping cool somehow. If not, wait until tomorrow when the temp will drop by about 10 degrees!

I had a nice start to the day today – I woke up this morning to notifications from WordPress telling me that my blog had been visited more often than usual for a Tuesday morning. I had loads of views at around 7am. I have spent ALL day trying to work out why – Was it something I tagged in a post that is currently trending? Nope. Did someone famous signppost their Twitter followers to my blog? Nope.

Then I had a brainwave about an hour ago.

I regularly receive the Nappy Valley Net weekly e-newsletter, which is aimed for parents in the SW London area. A couple of weeks ago they posted an article/discussion about something that was written about my grandparents in the press (They live locally, too. Upstairs, in fact). The article said that my grandfather was sad to have to sell their Wandsworth home. This wasn’t true, and the words that were actually spoken were taken way out of context. I’m sure it went along the lines of ‘We probably should downsize, but we can’t bear to leave this house’. The discussion on Nappy Valley Net garnered a lot of lovely comments from local parents who have enjoyed their Great Canal Journeys programme and showed real compassion for their situation. I felt that I had to set the record straight about them – That they are not reluctantly selling their home at all. So, about a week or so ago, I posted a comment on the discussion.

Early this morning I received the new Nappy Valley Net e-newsletter which contained an update on that story mentioning me and my comment! And, because I posted as Not So Goldilocks, I guess some of the other parents who were browsing through the newsletter at the crack of dawn, like myself, wanted to see who I was (now that they knew where I lived!).

And that was it! My ‘Eureka’ moment.

So, thank you so much to Nappy Valley Net and all of its followers – Not only for the welcome traffic, but for the beautiful and supportive messages you have posted about my grandparents. I will pass them all on.

NSG xxx

Our Time In Malawi

Travel

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Last Tuesday marked an important and sad day for our family – The end of an era. It was our last day in Malawi. Well, my partner’s… Me and the boys left in December! My partner has been working there since January last year and, because he was based there, he rented a lovely family house for us in Lilongwe. It had three good-sized bedrooms, not much furniture, and the main bedroom had an ensuite bathroom. We also had staff living quarters in a separate building across the lawn. In these quarters lived a lovely young family – A couple in their mid-twenties, and their now-two-year old daughter, who was completely adorable. Our boys loved this family very much, and they always worked above and beyond for us. The husband worked on night security for the house, where he sat in a small brick outhouse, on a crate, all night, with his baton and his whistle in case of a break-in. We also had the added security of an electric fence, which we turned off in the daytime for the poor birds! The husband also worked in the day, helping with errands to the local market or assisting the gardener with some bigger jobs in the rather large garden. He should have been sleeping, but we realised that he doesn’t really like to sleep that much.

He came to the house not long after my partner moved in, looking for any work that might be available. He had been knocking on gates all around the city, until he came to ours. My partner felt a good vibe from him and took him on to help with the garden and the house, to set it up for our arrival (I travelled alone with the boys, see Flying With Little People). Along with the hiring of the husband, we also hired his wife as our cleaner/housekeeper. It took a while for me to get used to this set-up, but we ended up getting into a really nice routine with the housekeeping. Soon, the staff also helped us look after the boys, which they loved. The family were so energetic, fun and caring – We had no problems leaving them in charge of the boys.

I learned a lot during my time in Lilongwe. I tried my hand (or tongue??) at Chichewa, one of the main official languages of Malawi. Here are some useful words for you all, just in case (and you should) you decide to visit someday:

Zikomo – Thank you (I said this so many times, I think the boys learned it more from me than any Malawians!)
Chonde – Please
Pepani – Sorry (This is particularly useful when you’re in a supermarket with two unruly boys)
Moni – Hello
Tiwonana – Goodbye
Muli bwanji? – How are you?
Ee – Yes
Ayi – No (I said this a lot to our staff’s daughter when she mounted our youngest!)

My partner could probably tell you more useful phrases. Not only has he been there for longer, he is also really good at picking up languages.

I wrote a list while I was there. It contained the things I loved and the things I didn’t love so much (I won’t say hate, as I only reserve that word for Donald Trump – yuck). Here it is:

LOVE

Perforated cling film (GENIUS… and also available in South Africa).
The sunsets (The most breathtaking I’ve ever seen).
Automatic cars – I gained a love and respect for them in Malawi!
Driving on the same side of the road (and car).
The animal cars in Gateway Mall (They were available all day for kids for a small price. They would ride up and down the mall, supervised, on these electric cars dressed as various stuffed animals!).
The people – This is a big one. They were warm, welcoming, kind and hard-working. Definitely a people to look up to.
The music (Live or otherwise).
Our resident birds and lizards in the garden (We had one gecko who lived in the walls of our house. During one bath time, I saw him peeping at me through a gap near the taps!).
Lake Malawi – I will come back to this later. Oh. My. God. It’s so beautiful.
The diversity and acceptance of all people.
Feeling really safe.
The kabazas – These are bicycle taxis. Sometimes, you would see a man pedalling so hard up hills with rather large people sitting on the back of his bike. Other times, mothers would be carrying their babies and have another young child with them, all on one small seat. They use bikes for lots of things, especially carrying heavy loads, like charcoal, goats, planks of wood. It’s amazing to watch!
The price of the wine (Awesome).
Savanna Dry cider (A perfect drink for those days when wine was that little bit too heavy).
The climate.
Our wonderful house and garden (I have many, many happy memories of that place, and we will never forget it).
The size of the cake slices (ie. Ginormous).
The many colours in our garden – The varieties of flowers and plants, the birds, the lizards…
The chocolate mousse dessert from Shoprite (Massive yum).
Jacaranda trees when they blossom – The colour is intensely beautiful.

NOT SO LOVE

Evening electricity outages – We would have outages every day, for around 4 hours at a time, and the times would be on a loop (eg. morning one day, afternoon the next, evening the next, then repeat). The daytime outages weren’t such a bother, but the evening ones were really annoying. No light, no electric hob to make dinner on… It was an inconvenience for sure!
The cheese – Not only was it SO expensive to buy cheese (They don’t really do dairy over there), it was that awful rubbery stuff.
Ants – Oh god, the ants. I once sprayed some ant spray into a hole in our lounge wall, and thousands of ants started spilling into the room. It was like something from a horror film.
Mosquitoes and the risk of malaria – This was a major problem. My partner contracted it while we were out there together, as did one of our staff (who was born and bred in Malawi and still at huge risk despite being exposed to mosquitoes for all of her life). The boys took some tablets daily, but I risked it without taking any. I was VERY lucky not to get it, considering there was clearly an infected mosquito in the house somewhere!
The price of food and drink – Wine was cheap, but everything else was so pricey. All of the goods for the supermarkets needed to be imported from places like South Africa, but Malawi produces their own meat, fruit and vegetables, which were all of amazing quality.
The quality of the clothes and toys – Honestly, there was so much tat.
Airtel – The mobile network in Malawi. My GOD did they like to piss off their customers! Not only was the mobile data really expensive, it was a mission to get a SIM card in your name if you’re not resident in Malawi, and they were either closed or packed with waiting customers… There were a few teeny moments when you could go in, speak to someone and be out within half an hour, but they were few and far between.
Mobile data roaming charges – It’s lucky that my network told me about the charges before I arrived, as it was extortionate! £5.00 per MB. Yep, you read that right – per MB, not GB.
Malawians on the road – I generalise because I originally wrote ‘drivers’ on my list then subsequently added ‘cyclists’ and ‘pedestrians’. Honestly, there are no rules, it’s scary. More so because you end up joining them (but more safely, I may add). If you’re going too slow, or a relatively medium and safe speed, someone will overtake you regardless of whether something is coming in the other direction (They will just have to move). People take so many risks, but because it happens all the time, it’s ignored and accepted. As long as you are really, REALLY observant, you should just about avoid the accidents…!
Unreliable internet coverage.
Salt and sugar in every food item you buy from the supermarkets.
The poverty and divide in society – There were areas of Lilongwe which were like areas of Beverly Hills. Then, just around the corner, were poorer townships.
No beans at KFC – This is a first-world problem in the third world.
The dust from the ground – Because of the lack or rain during our time there (They do have a rainy season, however), there was so much dust coming up from the ground. The winds were strong where we were, as we were on a hill, so we were constantly shielding our faces from the dust!
Poundstretcher – This was a shop in our local mall which imported goods from the UK. Great, right? Home from home and all that. Well, they kept the UK prices on the items, so you could see how much they had upped the prices. And it was a LOT. For example, a pack of baby wipes was 2,000MWK (around £2.00) but only 79p on the pack!
Prayer calls in the night – We had a lot of mosques in the area, and they would call to prayer around every four hours. They didn’t bother us at all in the day, but the night-time ones were so loud, especially if there was a strong wind carrying the sound. It would set off all of the stray dogs in the neighbourhood – They would howl, bark, screech… Ugh.
Driving at night – See above, but WAY worse, especially when they don’t have cars that work very well. Some cars had no headlights, some were on high beam at ALL times… It was exhausting!
UHT milk – Remember I said they didn’t really do dairy in southern Africa, well this is why you can only really buy UHT milk from the supermarkets. And it’s not as nice as fresh cow’s milk.

That’s about it! Perhaps it all sounds like I was being really unrealistic and snobbish, but these were the (relatively small) things that made me miss home sometimes. I really loved our time in Malawi, especially at….

LAKE MALAWI

Oh god. This is my new favourite place. I could have sat in that lake for weeks and wrinkled up like a prune and not given one single f**k. It was paradise. Well, for me anyway! The water was warm and fresh, not salty like the ocean. It was clear, shallow (for a distance) and you could see out for miles, but it had waves, which made it fun for the boys. There was sand and light shingle on the ‘beach’ which was soft and comfortable to sit on. I’m not a huge fan of the beach – Sand irritates me, and the sea is always too salty and unpredictable. The lake provided me with the joys of being next to, and in, the water without all of the mess and faff of the seaside. We will, one day, have a house on the lake, I hope. It will fulfil my dream of living next to freshwater. I mean, look at it…

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So, Malawi, thank you for being the definitive ‘warm heart of Africa’ and for giving us an amazing experience, or seventy!

As for the rest of you, please consider Malawi as a future holiday destination. It really is an amazing place to see. So many beautiful vistas, people and flora. Please contact me for more information if you’re planning to visit.

NSG xxx

Book Review: The Mummy Lessons by Helen Wallen

Parenting

Firstly, I want to say that I only found out yesterday that The Mummy Lessons is the second book in what is hopefully a whole series, following the motherhood experiences of three childhood friends, Emily, Liz and Molly. I am clearly very late to this party! But, like many parties, it’s better to be late than not turn up at all. And, even without knowing the hosts, I still had an awesome time and ended the evening feeling like I knew them well. Plus, it left me wanting to go out and get that first book…

OK, that’s enough of the party metaphors.

It’s true that all three ladies in the book are completely different people, all doing the motherhood thing differently, but you can’t help but sympathise with them all in some way. As a mother, I have probably felt the same way as all of them at some stage in my own experience, and I think other mothers (and fathers) will find this, too. This is how Helen Wallen draws us in to the story – She makes us fully empathise with the characters. I am not going to spoil the story in any way, as that would be just mean (and make my partner, who is a writer of stories, very angry with me!), but it felt like I was reading the diaries, Whatsapp chats and blog posts (and witty poetry!) of my dearest mummy friends – Content that I’d heard, felt and seen before, but this was portrayed by other people… so WE ARE NOT ALONE then!

This is one of the main things that I loved about this book – Its familiarity. It made it a real joy to read. Even at the end of a day (or sixteen) where I have felt so tired and fed up, this book brightened me up and made me laugh out loud before bedtime. Helen’s language and her ease at telling her characters’ stories made it easy to follow and kept me entertained throughout, even when things weren’t going too well in the story (Again, no spoilers).

The book also reinforces the importance of mummy friends, and I think every mum will read this book and feel ever-more grateful for their village. I know I did. I don’t think any of the characters could have gone through these stages of motherhood without each other, and I genuinely feel this way about my own mummy group. Just reading the Whatsapp conversations about babies that won’t sleep, and getting messages at 4.30am and actually responding to them… I remember it all so well!

What sets this apart from other books of its kind is that it is completely fictional (It seems that most others seem to be either autobiographical or an advice book rather than a story), but there is still a hint of ‘hmmmm’ about whether Helen Wallen has used some of her own experiences to create the stories of her characters. I can imagine that most of the parents out there could split their crazy experiences across three separate and totally different characters and still manage to make the stories feel so real.

I genuinely enjoyed reading this book, and was sad when I’d finished it (Although I got a little taster of Helen’s first book, Baby Boom, at the end – Nice touch!). It made me feel warm and cosy, but also sad and empathetic at times. This crazy journey we’re on as parents can only be fully enjoyed with laughter, jokes, not-so-candid conversations about baby weaning and a few swear words, and Helen Wallen has brought that into print for us all to enjoy, and for really not that much money! If that’s not a tonic, I don’t know what is…

NSG xxx

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Links to the books on Amazon can be found in their titles, above. The Mummy Lessons is available on Kindle for only 99p for a limited time only – Get your copy asap!

A Different Approach to Parenting

Parenting

I have just read an article which I’ve had saved on my Facebook account for about a week (We all know how difficult it is to get around to these things!) – An interview with the psychotherapist Philippa Perry (who is also married to the rather brilliant artist, Grayson Perry) about her new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did). I felt compelled to share it with you all (just click on the book title to be taken magically to the article), as it really resonated with me. I am sure some of you other parents will also feel the same way when you read the interview. In fact, the interviewer herself, Robyn Wilder, draws upon her own very personal experiences as a child and a mother.

As a mother who is sometimes, or often if I’m being really honest, lacking in enthusiasm to engage with my children, this article really struck a chord. She is completely right, of course, and I know that I have some work to do to make sure that my boys don’t grow up to be depressed, anxious and, well, like me. Although, saying that, I read the article aloud to my mother, and she only commented on the fact that she never drank coffee (See the article for context)! The truth is that my mum gave her all to us when we were growing up, and put us before everything else, yet I still came into adulthood having bouts of depression and anxiety.

During the parenting journey, we probably don’t realise that the things we do and say can have such an incredible impact on our children. Perhaps we don’t realise until it’s too late. But, what Philippa Perry says is not to fret. We all make mistakes, we are all ‘bad parents’. Even the parents we think have it all sussed out have failed now and then. Sometimes, even on our really off days, we can still succeed. In this day and age of alternative parenting techniques, often written by people who don’t have children, this is a refreshing and rather logical book of ‘advice’ coming from a psychotherapist who has been working with people with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues, as well as being a mother herself. Needless to say, I immediately followed the link to buy the book only to find out that it is currently not available. I hope that means that Philippa Perry has completely sold out and is now waiting for more books to be printed!

If you can, grab yourself a copy. I think it will be an interesting read for any parent and very different from the usual parenting advice books. If any of you have any other recommendations like this book, do let me know in the comments section of this post. I’d love to hear from you. Thanks!

Have a good week, followers and chums,

Not So Goldilocks xxx